


Very Cherry

by UFO_Spotter26



Series: I'm a Sucker for You [2]
Category: Girl Defined - Bethany Baird & Kristen Clark, Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Crying During Sex but It's Not Sexual, Drunken Confessions, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Rimming, Roommates, Sex in a Car, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:26:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22225600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UFO_Spotter26/pseuds/UFO_Spotter26
Summary: Noel always had a way of making everyone feel special, and Cody likes feeling special.This is Cody's point of view. You can read these fics in any order though, it doesn't matter.
Relationships: Cody Ko/Noel Miller
Series: I'm a Sucker for You [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1599772
Comments: 7
Kudos: 63





	Very Cherry

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for these sad fics, this is the last one for a while though.

Everyone knew how Cody felt, it was obvious he liked Noel. He was ready to do anything he asked, everything he asked. He thinks he's loved him from the moment he met him, he sure followed him like a puppy from that point on. Becoming friends with Noel was easy, the just clicked, but _being_ friends with Noel wasn't as easy. Well, being his friend is easy but being _just_ his friend? Cody found that to be difficult. Noel wasn't like him, he wasn't easy to read. Noel was smart and maybe he didn't seem happy all the time but he was funny. Making people laugh seemed to be his favorite thing to do. The other thing about Noel was that he had this sort of _gift._ He could make anyone around him feel special and that _gift_ made sure to remind Cody that no matter how Noel made him feel, he wasn't special. 

It's Valentine's day and he's fifteen trying to figure out who this candygram is from. It didn't match the others. 

**Don't worry about reading any candygrams if you get any, Chodey. They're not from him and they never will be! - Allen**

**Happy Valentine's Day, Chodey! I know you're sad you can't suck Noel's dick but maybe this candy'll tie you over until you find a football player to blow! - Gabe**

**I heard you're thinking about sending Noel a candygram. Don't bother, he doesn't love you and he never will. - Cameron**

**I know this lollipop isn't Noel, but you can always pretend it is when you suck it. - Tanner**

**I love you. - _No Name_**

He throws them all away except for the unsigned one. It's useless to keep it, he knows it's probably a joke from Allen but he wants to pretend it's Noel's. He looks to Noel's locker seeing him put candy in a bag. Cody takes the candygram from his locker that he'd written Noel's name on. He looks at the words he'd written down for him.

**I love you. - Cody**

He holds it in his hands thinking about giving it to him personally. But when he sees Noel drop the cards he'd received in the trash he decides against it and puts the note with the other one. Noel heads to gym and before Cody can get there too his arm is grabbed and pushed up against some lockers. He looks up at the boy towering over him, "can I help you?"

"Where you headed, Chodey?"

"To gym, Allen. But you already know that because you're in my class."

"You really don't want to piss me off today."

"Why not? What are you gonna do? Stare at me in the locker room more than you already do?"

He looks stunned and Cody nods, "yeah. I've noticed. You're not very good at hiding it."

He pushes him off and Allen speaks, "you're not good at hiding it either! Everyone sees the way you look at him."

"Believe me," he says, heading inside, "I know."

He quickly changes and walks across the back of the bleachers where Noel is. A group of girls circling the gym room pass by Noel and he can hear them talking, "I heard he got a lot of them during first period, he'll probably get way more tomorrow too."

_They're talking about Noel._

"He's actually kind of cute," he hears. 

_Kristen._

"Oh my gosh, Kristen, don't even think about it! He probably has sex before marriage," her sister says, "Dad would flip if he found out you were with someone who isn't religious."

Bethany's eyes look to Cody in disgust after she finishes talking to her sister. _No please, Beth, make it more obvious you hate me. At least Kristen doesn't give me that fucking stink face._

They walk past, Kristen giving Noel a wave. Bethany yanks her hand down, "Kristen!"

"I'm just being polite," she tells her. 

She practically starts dragging her away from him and Cody looks to Noel, feeling sick when he sees him wave to Kristen. He watches her smile at Noel as he takes his seat next to him. He fakes a smile and when Noel turns he speaks first, "you know, she'd probably stop dating Zack if you asked her out. She's got a big crush on you. Though that could be because you exude bad boy energy."

He snorts, "bad boy energy?"

"That's what I heard her say, she sent you a candygram you know?"

"Speaking of candygrams," Noel says, "did you get any?"

He thinks back to the hurtful words written for him by everyone except someone who was just messing with him.

"I got a few," he says, "finished all the candy though."

_The only good part of this whole candygram thing anyway._

"Did you get any from anyone special? Anyone you like?"

_You know I didn't._

"No."

"No one special?"

"Nope," he sighs, "what about you, you get any from anyone you like?"

He shrugs, not answering the question and Cody hates it when he does that. He pulls suckers from his pocket and Cody's reminded of how many people like Noel, "you're so lucky people like you. I ran out of my suckers super fast."

He unwraps one and holds it out to him, "here, you want it?"

"I can have it?"

"Sure."

He smiles and shoves the whole thing in his mouth, "thanks!" 

He sucks on it, letting it go from cheek to cheek as he spoke, "there's something weird about those sisters. It's kinda culty, maybe? I don't know. Kristen's kind of nice but Bethany has this weird vibe about her. I don't know what it is but it's off."

When Noel doesn't say anything he pulls the sucker from his mouth, licking it, "you know, these are so good and they're not even the best ones. The berry blue ones are my favorite because they're just blue raspberry. Which ones are your favorite?"

"The red ones," he says, not looking at him, "uh, very cherry."

"The red ones make me look like I'm wearing lipstick," he says. 

"Yeah," he asks, turning to him.

"Yeah," he says pulling it from his mouth and pushing out his lips for him to see, "see? They're very cherry."

He nods, a hint of a laugh as he watches him pop the sucker back into his mouth. From that day on Noel was giving him blue suckers every single day he saw them. Eventually Cody got so used to it that he'd just hold out his hand the second he saw him. And even though Cody knew he shouldn't think anything of it he couldn't help but feel special with Noel spending money on him and giving him _that_ smile. He smiles thinking to himself when Noel holds out one for him, _I know I'm not special to you but you really make me feel like I am._

\---

Cody's first kiss wasn't very romantic, he liked it, sure, but the location could have been better. He'd somehow managed to convince Noel to come to Kristen's party. He figured once they got there maybe Noel would ditch him to go talk to Kristen or someone else but he stayed with him the whole time. They watched the small gathering soon turn into a disaster for the girls. People trashed the house, threw up in places puke shouldn't go, there were even people having sex in the living room while others were getting drunk and high. Cody didn't really like the sisters, but he did feel bad for them having to clean it all up later. 

He wasn't exactly _drunk_ but he was definitely more sober than some people were. He stumbled up the stairs with a half drunk Noel. They make it to the bathroom and soon Cody's on him, touching his face, "got one of those suckers on you?"

He nods, struggling to find it and eventually he's falling back against the wall and onto his ass. Cody laughs and soon joins him, sitting on his lap, "you're fucked up."

"So are you," he points out. 

He touches Noel's pocket and searches until he finds the sucker, happy Noel didn't crush it when he fell. He unwraps it and sucks it into his mouth before wrapping his arms around Noel's neck, laying on his shoulder, "I love hanging out with you. You're my best friend."

"Is that as close as we'll ever be," he asks, "just best friends?"

And that's a sentence Cody never thought he'd hear. He pulls the sucker from his mouth, "how close do you want to be?"

He puts it back in his mouth as he waits for an answer. He pushes the sucker to his cheek before pulling it out and licking over it and pushing it back in. He smiles and rests his forehead against his, pulling the candy from his mouth. He wraps his arm back around him carefully so he doesn't get it in his hair, "this close?"

Cody holds the sucker to Noel's lips and he looks at him for a minute until he opens his mouth and closes his lips around it. Cody moves down to suck on his neck. He expects to be pushed away, but Noel doesn't push him back. He slides his tongue around the shell of his ear, whispering, "this close?"

His lips move down to his collarbone and soon he undoes Noel's jeans. When he doesn't stop him he palms him through the underwear and licks a line up his skin, hearing Noel's breathing pick up. Before he can go further he's grabbing Cody's hands and holding them up. He stares at him and Cody feels like he's going to yell at him or push him away. He doesn't speak, he doesn't even breathe. Noel pushes him back against the tiled floor and Cody thinks this is it. This is the line he shouldn't have crossed. _He's gonna hit me, he's gonna tell me he doesn't want to be friends anymore. I need to say I'm sorry._

He pulls the sucker from his mouth, looking down at him. He doesn't hurt him, he doesn't even seem angry with him. He takes a chance, raising his hips up to meet his. And suddenly Noel's leaning in, kissing him hard. Cody feels like he's going to melt under him and when he pulls back Noel sticks out his tongue. He does the same and Noel puts the sucker in the middle of it. He closes his lips around it and Noel's pushing his shirt up, undoing his jeans and tugging them down. _This feels fast. Has he done this before? He's moving really fast. Way too fast for me._

He kisses his way down his stomach, speaking, "wanna be this close. Wanna be so much closer, Cody, you have no idea."

And he laughs when the slight bit of stubble tickles his skin. He pulls Noel back up face him, "that tickles."

"Tell me what you want," he says, out of breath. His forehead is against his and Cody's looking at his face with what little light Noel leaning over him gives him. He taps the tiny dots across his face and smiles, "you know, you've got little tiny freckles on your face. I never noticed that before." 

"Yeah?"

_I can't go as fast as he wants me to go. I've never had sex before, but I can't tell him I'm a virgin. What if I say no and he hates me? But I don't want it to hurt and I've heard it hurts. I wanna be good for him. I can't do this. Especially not in Bethany Baird's fucking house. I have to say no._

"I wanna go home," he tells him, "will you take me home?"

He nods and when Noel's face goes red Cody feels embarrassed. _He's mad at me. I led him on by putting my hand in his pants. I hope he still talks to me tomorrow. We kissed and it was good but we've been drinking. He's been drinking. I'm an idiot. I'm fucking stupid._

Noel pulls the jeans up Cody's hips, buttoning them before he does his own. He gets Cody up off the floor and they're both wobbling. Noel still leads him outside, walking to his house. They aren't far and when they reach it he's getting the key from under the mat and undoing the door. He pulls him upstairs with him and once they're in his room Cody throws away the lollipop stick and pulls him in bed with him. Once Noel's comfortable on the bed he's moving beside him. He kicks off his shoes and Noel starts to follow his lead. He gets off the jeans and tosses them before getting under the blanket. He watches Noel take his shirt off and Cody can't help but think of what they could have been doing tonight. Noel takes his pants off and drops them to this side before getting under the blanket. He moves over, laying on his arm before taking the older boy's free arm and putting it around himself. They're closer, a lot closer. 

It's quiet and all Cody wants to do is say sorry, apologize to him and tell him they can do other stuff. Cody wishes he knew how to do other stuff for him. He wants to make it up to him somehow but he can't think of what to say. He finally settles on going to sleep, "goodnight, Noel."

"Goodnight, Cody."

\---

They never talked about the kiss, Cody wasn't even sure if Noel remembered it. He certainly couldn't forget it, no matter how much he'd drank. Cody didn't talk about it and they were still friends. They were close but not as close as Cody wanted them to be. He kept himself awake at night thinking about it, how Noel's mouth felt on his, how if he hadn't stopped him he would have touched him more. He can still feel the motions of that night, Noel pulling his jeans off, his mouth on his stomach kissing lower and lower. He pictured it all the time when he was alone in bed, getting himself off to the thought.

He stops thinking about that night, about what he has planned for tonight, and searches the party finally seeing Noel. He rushes over, putting a hand on his shoulder, "Noel, there you are. I've been looking all over for you."

Noel looks over him and he leans in, slipping his arms around Noel's waist, hugging him and putting his head close to his neck, "I haven't seen you in a while. I missed you."

He breathes Noel and and he misses that smell, the way he feels, and he wants to be closer. 

"You did?"

He pulls back, smiling at him, "of course I did. You're almost never on campus, you just hang out in your apartment all the time. I barely see you. Can't remember the last time I saw you."

_Yes I can. It was three weeks and four days ago. God I've missed you._

"Me either," he says. 

His hands go to Noel's pockets patting them before snaking his hands into the hoodie pockets. His fingers find the stick, "aha! You do have one on you."

He pulls out the sucker and unwraps it, popping it into his mouth with a smile, "you still care about me after all this time."

_I can't believe you still do this for me._

"Of course I do."

"You still have your old car right?"

"Yeah, I drove it here actually."

_Yes!_

"Meet me in the front in, like, two minutes."

"What? Why?"

"Just do it, please," he asks, giving him his best pout.

_Pouting? God he must think I'm a fucking baby._

"Alright."

Noel leaves the house and Cody heads to the kitchen. He's pushing past a few people, looking around until he finds a bottle of ciroc he'd hidden away. When he gets it he goes upstairs going through rooms until he finds a drawer with lube. He pockets it and runs downstairs. _This is insane. Lube? I'm getting my hopes up, he isn't going to want to touch me like that again. It was a mistake,_ he thinks. When he gets outside he holds up the bottle and wiggles his brows and that gets Noel to smile. They get in the car and Noel looks to him, "so what's the plan?"

"Drive, I'll tell you which way to go."

They buckle up and he points the way until they get to the right spot. Noel soon parks and they're at the cliff overlooking the city. It couldn't be seen from the road and Noel stared at it for a while, not speaking. Cody nervously opens the bottle and pulls the candy from his mouth, "it's beautiful, right?"

"It's perfect. How'd you even find this place?"

"Stumbled upon it," he says, "nearly fucking died here."

_And all I could think about was you._

"What," Noel asks, tone changing.

_I shouldn't have brought it up._

He shrugs it off, "some asshole ran me off the road and kept going. I almost fell off, my tire was about an inch away. I should be mad about it, pissed even but when I was turning my car around I found this spot. It's hidden by these trees."

He points around them for him to see, "sometimes I come up here and I think about what would have happened, you know? What if I went over? So many things I didn't get to say or do and if I would have went over I never would have been able to say or do them."

_Jesus, Cody, you're killing the good vibes in here._

"Like what," he asks, "what did you want to say?"

_I love you._

His mouth's around the bottle when he looks over the edge. It's a big sip and when he's swallowing he fakes a smile, "I don't even remember."

"What did you want to do?"

_I wanted to say I love you and I wanted to lose my virginity to you because you are the only person who's ever gave a shit about me._

"Show you this spot," he says handing the bottle to him.

He takes it and gives him a look, "I can't drink here, I have to drive home."

"I was kind of hoping we could stay here."

"What, like, sleep here in my car?"

And he's quiet when he starts to feel embarrassed. He shrugs, "just an idea I had. We don't have to though, just wanted to show you this place."

_Of course he doesn't want to stay here. Normal people don't wanna sleep in their cars. And he's got a bad back. This was so stupid, such a stupid fucking idea._

Noel takes a swig from the bottle, making a face and Cody realizes he didn't bring anything to chase it with. He holds out his lollipop, "here."

He takes it, shoving it in his mouth while Cody takes the bottle and gulps down another good amount of it. He turns to Noel, pulling the sucker from his mouth and taking it back, giving him the bottle. Noel's holding it and Cody's taking his seat belt and jacket off trying to get comfortable. He relaxes the seat back, staring at the sky while Noel's being quiet again. And when he sees Noel reaching for the radio he speaks, "do you ever think about the future?"

"In general or a specific thing about the future?"

"Like who you're gonna end up with."

Noel goes quiet again and when he turns to him he looks up at him, waiting patiently for an answer. He shrugs his shoulders and drinks some more alcohol, more than Cody would have drank, "I don't think about stuff like that."

_He doesn't think about me like that. That's what he means. He knows everything I'm thinking._

"Never," he asks, sitting up to look at him.

"Never."

_I get it. You don't see me like that and you never have._

He gives a small smile, "do you think we'll always be friends?"

"Of course we will," he says, and he doesn't hesitate with that answer, "that's the one thing about the future I'm certain of."

_He at least sees me in his future._

"Really," he asks, "we'll be friends? No matter what happens?"

"No matter what happens."

_That makes me feel better because I'm probably going to try and kiss you by the time the bottle's empty and it's nice to know you'll still wanna be around me after that._

He smiles and Noel caps the bottle setting it to the side and scrunching up his nose at the taste while he undoes his seat belt. Cody leans in closer, pulling the sucker from his mouth. He offers the stick to him, "this should get the taste out of your mouth."

He looks at it and it makes him aware of how close he is to Noel this second. The way he could probably count the freckles on his face this close to him. Noel opens his mouth, not reaching for it and soon Cody's taking the hint and touching it to his tongue. His mouth closes and the small bit of candy left and his teeth bite down on it. They stare into each other's eyes for a long time and it hits Cody, friends don't look at each other this long and this silently. He takes a chance and moves to sit in his lap. Cody didn't feel drunk and if he didn't Noel probably didn't either. When he's sat in his lap he leans in, pressing his face into the crook of his neck and putting his arms around him. Noel's arms don't move, it was rare that Noel ever held him back like this but he just wanted to be close to him for now.

He thinks about how close they are and tilts his head so he can place gentle kisses against his skin. After the first one Cody does another until he's sure that this is okay. He goes to plant another but a hand is in his hair pulling it until he's off his neck. He goes wide eyed, an apology on the tip of his tongue if he can just work the courage to say something with the way Noel's looking at him. 

_It was a mistake last time. I shouldn't have tried anything. I shouldn't have touched him._

When Noel doesn't say anything Cody reaches up, fingertips tapping lightly over the freckles. And Noel pulls him in, kissing him hard just like the first time. It's rough but Cody can handle rough, he'd been preparing himself for this. He holds Noel's face before his fingers drop down to the hoodie and unzip it. Noel's tongue rolls over his, licking the inside of his mouth like he's tasting him.

Soon Cody's shirt's being pulled off and Noel's jacket's being taken too. He goes back to kissing him, but kissing doesn't seem to be enough for Noel. He moves down his neck, sucking hickeys onto his skin and Cody's excited to see what they look like when this is all over. He lets out a breath and Noel's mouth is searching for new places to mark. He holds onto his shirt, moaning before he reaches for Noel's jeans. He undoes the button on them and soon moves sideways, pulling his own jeans off and looking at Noel. When he thinks he's gone too far Noel's removing Cody's underwear before he moves back to Noel's lap, kissing him. Hands go up his waist, before he feels fingers running down his spine to grab his ass. _Holy shit this is happening._

He reaches under him unzipping Noel's pants and he pauses. _Shit, what if I'm bad at this? What if I embarrass myself? What if he wants to stop? What if he figures out I'm a virgin?_

He puts his hand down Noel's jeans, wrapping it around the erect cock. _He's hard, okay so this is working for both of us._ He jerks him off slow and moves his mouth to his neck, kissing it slow. _Just act like you've done this before._

Noel moans and that gives Cody the confidence he needs to lick a line up his neck and gently bite at his earlobe, "do you want me?"

"Yeah," he says, "yeah, I want you, baby."

_Baby? Okay, this is going good. Now I just need lube._

He pulls back and reaches for his jacket in the passenger side pulling the lube. Noel reaches for the glove box and takes out a condom. Cody twists the top off the bottle and he hopes Noel can't tell him much he's shaking. He lifts his hips and Noel's pushing his pants and underwear past his knees before he's opening the condom with his teeth. He pulls out the condom and is quick to put it on. Cody pours lube all over him until all of it's nearly covered. He lowers himself down over his cock and soon the tip is pressing against his hole. He can practically feel himself throbbing, ready for him and before Noel can do anything he's already sinking it down and letting it push inside him. He lets out a guttural moan and he hopes to God Noel doesn't laugh. He takes a few slow breaths and holds onto Noel, sinking all the way down before kissing him and moving his hips. 

_I hope I'm doing this right for him._

Noel's hands are on his ass pulling him forwards and backwards while he thrusts his hips up into his. He pants against his mouth, he feels like he should be kissing him but he needs to breathe. He moves to his neck, kissing gently. _This might just be me being buzzed but this feels so right. He feels right. I love this. I love him._

"I love you," he says. 

It's soft and it's left to sit there in the air. Noel is thrusting faster and Cody moves to kiss him so he doesn't say it again but Noel keeps his head there. He keeps going, cock hitting the right spot and he moans it out again, "I love you!"

He fucks him harder, pulling his hair and it hits him that this doesn't mean as much to Noel as it does to him. And no matter how many times he tells him he loves him he's not going to say it back.

"I love you," he whispers again into the silence. 

Cody kisses his cheek and Noel lets go of his hip for a minute before putting it back. It starts to hurt, the quiet and the way Noel's thrusting. He puts his arms around his neck, holding onto him, "you can take your time with me. I'm not in a rush."

Noe slows down and it feels better like this, more romantic somehow. But he knows it's not, it's just his imagination. Cody's hand goes to his hair, playing with it as he's trying to catch his breath, "I like it like this."

He's rubbing his face against his neck, voice getting quieter, "you're always so good to me."

_He's good to you, but he'll never love you. He could never love you._

Tears form in his eyes, but he doesn't want Noel to see. He can't cry, not here, not now. He hates himself for being this sensitive. He kisses his neck again, "I love you."

Every time he says it he expects to hear it back, even if he doesn't mean it. But Noel never says it back. The tears fall down his cheeks and he's hit by reality. _It's just the gift he has,_ he thinks _, I always forget about it when I'm with him. No matter how special he makes me feel I'm not special. And he'll never love me the way I want him to._

\---

They don't talk about that night, and Cody's kind of glad they don't. He's glad Noel doesn't bring up the fact that he told him he loved him during sex, and he's glad that he woke up before him, got dressed, and walked to the nearest store before calling an uber. But he's really glad he didn't he didn't end up in Noel's bed. It was something Cody told himself, that best friends can have sex anywhere in the world and as long as it's not in a bed it doesn't have to mean something. But if it's in a bed that's more intimate, it's more romantic, _it's different._ Either the sex means something to both people or it means something to one person. Things just get complicated when it means something to one person.

It's a new semester when he sees Noel again, he's walking with a classmate and he smiles when he sees Noel. He heads over speaking immediately, "hey! Jesus, dude, we need to start hanging out more. This is getting ridiculous not seeing each other for so long."

_It's getting ridiculous and it's my fault because I fucked up. I said I love you. I didn't stay._

"Yeah," Noel nods, eyes looking behind him. He cocks his head and turns to look behind him before he laughs, "right, sorry. This is Jeff, he's got a few classes with me so he and I became friends pretty quick. He's still kind of new to this place so I was just showing him around and he was thanking me with lunch. Jeff, this is Noel, he's my best friend."

_That even feels weird to say. Just my best friend?_

Noel shakes Jeff's hand looking over him. Jeff doesn't say anything and Noel turns back to Cody seeming a little different, "I was about to ask if you wanted to get lunch but if you've already eaten then-"

"I could go for ice cream," he smiles.

_Fuck, I'm too eager. Too giddy from seeing him. I should be awkward seeing him again but I missed him. I missed him so much._

"Jeff was heading back to get ready for his class anyway."

"It was nice to meet you," Jeff says before turning and patting his shoulder, "see you later, Codes."

And from the way Noel shifted he knew he'd have something to say about that nickname. Cody smiles and waves to him anyway before turning to him. They walk to a nearby restaurant, Noel picking up lunch and Cody buying himself an ice cream cone. When they head over to some tables they're sitting down, "so. Jeff seems kind of quiet."

"He's not," he insists, "he's just shy around new people. He'll probably get used to you after hanging out with you for a while."

"He seems used to you," he says in a tone Cody'd never heard before, " _Codes_."

He laughs, "it's a nickname. It's nice to have a little nickname that isn't _Chodey._ I call him JJ."

"That's cute," he says, seeming disinterested while he chews his fries. 

"It's just his way of being friendly."

Noel snorts, "he's being a little more than friendly, don't you think?"

"What?"

"I'm just saying I think maybe he wants to be a little more than friends."

He gives a plastic smile and shrugs, "he hasn't said anything like that."

"Do you want him to," he asks, chewing another bite. 

_You know the answer to that. You know how I feel about you, of course I don't want him to._

"I don't know," he says, licking his ice cream, "I hadn't really thought about it."

_I've been too busy thinking about you._

"Noel Miller," a feminine voice calls. 

_Fucking. Kill. Me._

He and Noel turn to the soft voice and see a blonde woman smiling at him. He'd recognize that face anywhere. Noel smiles at her and he wants to die, "Kristen Baird."

The small pink smile turns into a grin and she blushes when he looks over her, "I wasn't sure if you'd recognize me."

"How could I forget?"

 _There you go again,_ Cody thinks _, making everyone feel special like that._

"I'm surprised you recognized me," he continues.

"Especially since he was turned around," Cody finds himself adding just to make sure she knows he's still there. 

"Well, I recognized you first," she nods to him, "and I just assumed Noel would still be hanging out with you since you two were the best of friends in high school."

_Fuck, she's still nicer than Bethany. Makes it kind of hard to hate her._

"So what brings you here," Noel asks.

"Modeling," she nods, "me and my sister both model. What about you? Do you still work with computers?"

He nods, "yeah. Can't believe you're modeling."

An Cody bites back a smile when he says that. Noel's immediately speaking before her face can fall though, "not that you're not pretty. You're gorgeous!"

_Gorgeous?_

"I guess I just figured you'd be spreading the word of God somewhere."

_Instead of your legs._

She's nodding as Noel continues, "I mean, you and your sister were religious in high school."

_Extremely religious. Pretty sure she hates gay people and would definitely hate what you and I did the last time we were in your car._

"Yeah. Well we are, though we don't spend enough time with the church as we'd like to."

She looks to her wrist and frowns before taking a pen from her pocket and taking a napkin from the table. 

_Oh please tell me she isn't about to do what I think she's about to do._

She scribbles down her number, "um, sorry I have to get going. I've got an appointment I really can't be late for but you and I should definitely catch up sometime."

She hands him the napkin looking a little nervous. He takes it from her, "yeah, that'd be great."

She smiles, cheeks still burning red before she gives a small laugh, "well, it was good seeing you both again."

He eyes go back to Noel's as she speaks softer and tucks her hair behind her ear, "see you later."

His brows go up before coming back down looking amused and it only makes her blush more as she turns and walks away. When he finally gets Noel's attention back on him he's tossing his ice cream in the trash. _Lost my fucking appetite watching that._ He props his head up, giving the best fake smile he can manage, "look at you, still making Kristen Baird as horny as ever."

He chuckles and shrugs, "what can I say? I've got that bad boy energy."

Noel carefully fold the napkin and puts it in his pocket and the sight makes Cody shift uncomfortably in his seat. He shakes his head watching him continue to eat his lunch.

"So," he sighs, "are you gonna call her?"

He looks up and Cody puts his focus on someone else, not wanting to hear the answer if it isn't no. Noel shrugs, "yeah, maybe."

And he turns his head back to him so fast he's surprised he didn't get whiplash, "what? Really?" 

"Why not," he asks, "could be fun hanging out with her, learning about God and everything."

_You've got to be fucking kidding me._

He forces a laugh, "she does not want to hang out. She's tired of waiting to lose her virginity probably and who better to lose it to than her high school crush."

 _Oh my god,_ he thinks, _I'm just as sad as Kristen. I'm the male Kristen fucking Baird._

"Thought she liked that Zack guy," Noel says. 

"Didn't you hear? He and Bethany's boyfriend ran away together to, like, Cabo or something."

_Oh my god why can't I stop talking about her and how available she is._

"That makes sense."

"Yeah," he says, "Bethany was pissed but something tells me Kristen isn't taking it so hard. Especially now that you're back in her life."

Noel stares after her, and Cody's in a state of disbelief.

"Dude, seriously," he asks. 

He turns back to him and watches Cody shake his head with a laugh, "checking out _Kristen Baird_ that openly?"

"I was looking at her shoes. You were right, good girls don't wear shoes like that. She's trying to get fucked."

"So what," he asks, trying not to look him in the eye, "you going to be the one to fuck her?"

"Maybe," he says after a minute, "would it be so bad if I did?"

Yes! If you fuck her and get married I'll have to be the best man and watch you love her and kiss her and have kids with her and be around Bethany all the time. Oh my fucking god I have to slow down.

And Cody's crossing his arms over his chest before shaking his head, "n-no, I just thought-"

"What," he asks. 

_Oh fuck, he's going to call me out for being jealous. I need to slow down. I need to pretend I'm okay._

"Nothing," he shakes his head, "I guess I just thought she wasn't your type."

"My type? What exactly do you think my type is?"

_Someone who gets you, someone like me._

"I just thought blondes weren't your thing."

He shrugs, "hair color doesn't matter, what matters is she's kinda cute and she's nice."

"Yeah," he says, "but she's super religious and, I don't know? Boring?"

_God I'm sounding jealous. I want this conversation to be over._

"Well, if she's tired of waiting for someone to come around and fuck her then she can't be that religious. And we really don't know here to well so maybe she isn't that boring," he says eating a few last bites before throwing his food away.

_Oh god he wants to be with her. I'll look like a bad friend if I tell him not to. I'll look pathetic._

He stands up and walks beside him, "yeah, maybe you're right."

Noel puts his hands in his pockets when they walk to his car and soon he nudges Cody with his elbow. He turns seeing the blue color and gives a weak smile, "my favorite."

He pulls a red one out for himself and shoves it into his mouth once the wrapper's gone. Cody gets in the passenger side when they make it to his car and Noel sits int he driver's seat. And the second he buckles up, twirling the lollipop in his mouth he's reminded of the last time they were in this car together. The way he'd got in Noel's lap and told him he loved him while he was being fucked by him, the way he moaned Noel's name when he came harder than he'd ever cum in his life. He hated that he felt so good with him that night and felt so shitty the next morning sneaking out without waking him and leaving no trace of himself behind like it was some sort of crime scene. 

"Hey, so, I was thinking," he finds himself saying, "there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about."

"Yeah?"

_Yeah, like why didn't you say it back for me even if you didn't mean it? Why'd you leave so many hickeys? Did you regret it? Why didn't you talk to me about it? Did you want to forget it? Do you want to forget me?_

"Yeah," he says, "the dorms are super loud, people always partying and my roommate's super annoying. I guess I was just wondering if it would be okay if I stayed with you for a while."

He looks over at him and Cody's not meeting his eyes. He twirls the candy between his fingers before popping it back into his mouth. It's not a complete lie. He does want to stay with him, he'd just planned on renting a cheap apartment in a not-so-great neighborhood and not telling him about it, just moving in and praying he doesn't get murdered or robbed. When Noel doesn't say anything he's speaking up, "it wouldn't be forever, just until I can find a place on my own and everything, I just really don't want to go back to that dorm. I'd rather stay with you."

_No matter how hard it'll be to sleep under the same roof as you, live with you and pretend I don't feel anything when you bring some girl home with you._

He turns to look him in the eyes and he holds onto the sucker, voice getting softer, "would that be okay?"

"Yeah," he says, "yeah, that's fine. Did you want to go get your stuff today or tomorrow?"

"Most of my stuff is already packed, I just have to put it in my car and everything."

_He's really letting me live with him._

"I'll take you back to campus, help you get your stuff."

He smiles, "you're always so good to me."

He wondered what living with him would be like. He'd have to sleep on the couch but he didn't mind, Noel had a nice couch. He decided to make a rule here and now. _I will not have sex with him again from this point on._

\---

The couch is a pull out one that Noel had gotten specifically for is someone needs to stay over but Cody doesn't sleep on it, Noel insists he sleeps in the bed with him. He knows he should have slept on the couch, but he couldn't help himself. He wanted to be closer to him, needed to be closer to him. He'd wake up in Noel's arms warm and held against his chest. Sometimes he'd wake up with Noel hard and pressed against his back. But this morning was different, he'd been having a nice dream when he was slowly woken up. When he saw Noel he moved closer and put his arms around him. He could feel him hard against his thigh and soon he rolls over onto his side he can't help but smirk to himself, "good dream?"

"Something like that."

He drops the smirk and looks over his shoulder, "you gonna go shower or do you want me to take care of it?"

It's a joke but Cody regrets it the second he says it. _Jesus Christ, I'm flirting now?_

"Yeah," Noel says, "I do."

And he cocks his head before laughing. But when Noel doesn't laugh he stops and watches him push the blanket off his body before palming himself through his underwear. He tries not to look and Noel cocks his head back at him, "aren't you gonna help me?"

When Cody doesn't move Noel lets out a breath of laughter and heads into the bathroom leaving him alone. _I told myself I wouldn't be with him. I told myself I wouldn't have sex with him. I shouldn't._ He finds himself getting up anyway and heading into the bathroom. When he's inside Noel's raising a brow at him and he's leaning back against the door until it clicks. He takes the toothbrush from him and sets it down before leaning in to kiss his neck. His shoulders are grabbed and he's held back and he immediately feels embarrassed. 

_It was a joke. He was joking back with me and I took it seriously. Fuck. This was stupid. Just apologize and leave._

Noel's hand goes to his head and he expects him to laugh but he doesn't. His fingers go through the hair on his head and he lets go of his shoulder. It was nice, it felt good to have Noel touch him so gently. He leans in kissing up his neck as he moves closer to back him up against the wall. He dips his fingertips into Noel's underwear and soon pulls them down his hips. He kisses down his bare chest, sinking down to his knees before wetting his lips. He'd never given a blowjob before and he just hoped he'd be good at it. He wets his lips with his tongue and wraps them around the tip of his cock. Noel's dropping his head back against the wall when he relaxes.

Soon he's closing his eyes, pulling at the hair on Cody's head while he's taking him deeper. He hollows his cheeks around him and bobs his head, lifting his hand to hold onto him near the base. He watches Noel lick his lips before looking down at him. He could feel himself getting harder with Noel watching him like this and he wanted to touch himself but he didn't know how Noel would like it if he did. Cody goes slow with the blowjob, hoping he's doing everything right and if he wasn't maybe he could make up for it with his hand so it didn't seem too bad. Soon he's closing his eyes and reaching to hold onto the older man's hips. There's a lot of spit in his mouth, he wants to make sure that even if it's not good his mouth is wet enough that it feels good. He moans around him and he wonders if it's weird to do that. He pulls off him again, teasing the slit at the top with his tongue while he jerks him off with one hand. 

"Fuck," Noel sighs, "stand up."

He does as he says, standing up and wiping his mouth before waiting to see what he had to say. He waits for a bad reaction, but it doesn't come. Noel's got his hands on his underwear pulling them down before he reaches for the cabinet. He gets some lube and pours it on his hand before he's reaching between his legs and rubbing some between his cheeks, getting his hole wet. He knows what's next and when he's rubbing his own dick he wonders which way Noel wants him. He turns him to face the mirror, "bend over."

He listens to him, putting his hands flat on the counter top. Noel's parting Cody's legs and sliding the head of his dick inside him. He moans but refuses to look at him in the mirror. Noel uses the lubed hand to reach around and jerk him off while he's kissing his neck, "you like it when I touch you like that?"

He nods, whimpering when the pad of Noel's thumb teases over the head of his cock. He goes slow, hips barely thrusting into him as he's sucking a mark onto his skin, "say it."

His eyes meet his in the glass and he speaks, "I like it when you touch me like that."

It's a little embarrassing for him to say but likes it when Noel talks to him like that. His teeth drag down his skin and he's biting his shoulder hard. Cody moans, hands gripping the sink until his knuckles turn white. He moves faster and when he feels Noel watching him he looks away to the sink. But then a hand is in his hair, pulling hard so he's looking at him. His mouth's open, he's panting and looking at Noel before closing his eyes and trying not to make too much noise. 

Noel pulls out of him and lets go of his hair, turning him around. Cody goes to say something, apologize maybe but Noel doesn't give him the chance. He's picking him up and pushing him up against the wall. He eases back inside him and he hears himself moan for Noel. His arms go under his to hold onto his shoulders while a pair of lips suck red marks onto his skin. His nails dig into his shoulders and he's dragging them down his back. He hear Noel hiss at the pain and he sees himself in the mirror, Noel's back, ass out and arms pulling his legs apart fucking into him. High school had made him hate his reflection but now, looking at the way Noel fit perfectly against him he likes it. 

He moans when he goes rougher, his hips thrusting up into his as he adjusts his arms and reaches for Noel's hair. He's panting in his ear, pulling the dark hair while Noel's moving. He wishes he had his phone on him, he wanted to take a picture, make it his lock screen. He wanted to make sure he could look at it everyday. It would be his favorite picture. Noel's lips drag down his skin before his mouth is at his ear, "I love you."

Cody grips onto him tighter, Noel nosing at his neck. _He didn't... Did he just say he loved me?_

He moves harder and faster and Cody can't help but moan louder as Noel says it again, "I love you."

_He remembers that night. He remembers and he's only saying it because he knows I want to hear it._

"I love you."

His breathing gets faster moaning as he gets closer and he thinks Noel knows that he wants to hear it again. _It's not real. He doesn't love you. He's just making fun of you for that night. He's just saying it because he knows how much you want it. He's teasing you for being so easy._ Noel gives a few more thrusts and Cody holds onto him as tight as he can when Noel leans in closer whispering, "I love you."

He cums on his stomach with a moan, hole clenching tight around Noel. He presses him against the wall, finishing inside him with a groan. Cody's nails rake down his back and when he looks at his reflection he doesn't think he likes it anymore. Noel soon sets him down and pulls out of him. He feels empty when he does and when Noel pulls his boxers on and leaves him leaning up against the wall he feels dirty. He feels so used, like the nickname _'Chodey Hoe'_ was really fitting for him right about now.

"You should shower, I'll make something to eat."

He nods and pulls off his shirt, getting in the shower. He lets the water spray him, hot, cold, the temperature didn't matter because no matter what setting it was on he couldn't wash off the feeling. Only the evidence. _He said it four times like I did that night. He remembers. He remembers how I told him I loved him four times. He used it against me._ Noel leaves the bathroom and the second he does Cody's sitting in the floor of the shower and crying. _How do I even face him without crying? Can I?_

He cleans up between his legs and cleans off his stomach before he gets out. He wipes down the mirror before looking at his reflection. His eyes are still a little puffy from crying but he wraps the towel around his body hugging himself with it. _Maybe I just pretend like it didn't happen. If I pretend like it didn't happen then maybe I'll be good at pretending like it didn't hurt me to have him say that to me._ After a few minutes the redness goes away and he heads into their room, drying off and pulling on clothes. He hears Noel in the kitchen and when he gets in there he's wrapping his arms around Noel's waist. When he turns Cody's letting go, mouth hung open but he doesn't speak. Noel's just looking at him, not talking and he takes a step back smiling at him, "the pancakes smell good."

He plates two of them and hands it to him wordlessly, seeming as if he wants him to disappear. _Fuck, does he think I think he meant it when he said he loved me?_ He thinks about saying something to him, insisting they talk about it this time but he doesn't. He doesn't say anything and goes to sit on the couch. Noel soon takes his spot and it's silent throughout breakfast. And when Noel leaves the last sound they hear is the door closing between them. And once he locks the door he's crying again. _He can't even stand to be in the same room as me. Maybe it was the blowjob, maybe it was the sex. I know I'm not experienced so maybe I just did it all wrong. Maybe I'm just too clingy. I should ease up on touching him. This wouldn't have even happened if I'd just followed my rule._

He didn't know where Noel went, and even though he should be glad he's gone he's not. He wants him to come back, he doesn't like being alone in the house. He wants to be back in bed like they were this morning, his arms around him instead of crying. _Maybe I should leave, stay in a hotel for a while or something, just get out of his hair for a while._

He heads into his room, emptying his backpack and filling it up with clothes. He could pick up some travel sized things at the store before he found a hotel. When he finishes packing he's getting dressed the rest of the way and wiping his face. All this crying had made him tired and soon he hears the living room door open. _Fuck, I have to face him before I leave._

He puts the backpack over his shoulder and heads into the living room seeing Noel holding a giant clear cookie jar filled with red and blue lollipops. He looks at it a little longer, confused, "what's that?"

"I don't know," he says, "I just went to every store in the city and bought all the red and blue suckers until they were all gone. I even went out of the city for them."

_He ran around the city all day for these?_

"Is this why you left? To run around the city searching for all these?"

"Yeah," he says, holding out the jar to him, "I just thought that it would be nice to have some for if I'm gone and you want one. Now you don't have to go all the way to the store by yourself for one..."

He trails off and Cody feels like if he was hydrated he could probably cry some more. Noel continues, "you can stay here..."

"You did all this for me?"

"Yeah."

Noel's face flushes when he says it and Cody's chest feels warm again, stomach fuzzy and he wants to kiss him. Noel looks to his shoulder seeing the backpack, "do you have class tonight?"

He drops it to the floor and takes the jar from Noel before setting it on the counter. He puts his arms around his waist hugging him and smiling, "I can skip it."

Noel's arms soon come around him and hold him close, "are you sure?"

He nods, closing his eyes and breathing him in, no longer thinking about what had happened between them in the bathroom. All the crying was over and he didn't want to leave anymore. He wanted to stay in Noel's arms as long as he was allowed to, "yeah, I'm sure."

_I know that this doesn't mean anything and that this doesn't mean I'm special to him but I just want to pretend I am. Just for a little while. Just until he lets go of me._

\---

Cody's pissed off when he heads home from class. He opens the door and pulls his jacket off setting it and his things to the side, "I am so fuckin' tired, dude."

"Yeah?"

He turns to look at him, "yeah, so this girl in my class who got put on my team for this fucking history project fucking sucks. Okay, so she gave all of us a task, right? She told me and this other girl we would do research for our topic and then the kid who sucks at history was going to do the oral presentation shit so we didn't have to do it. So our topic is the Titanic, okay?"

"Yeah," he nods. 

And he probably isn't even paying attention but Cody keeps going anyway, "so of course I fucking do research on the Titanic."

"Yeah."

"And I mean, I got really fucking good research for it the last class meeting, right?"

"Of course," he nods. 

_I know he doesn't give a shit but I'm halfway through the story and I don't want to stop talking yet._

He heads into the bedroom raising his voice while he's taking off his socks and shoes, "so I fucking show up today, all ready to hand my shit to her so that I do my part of the fucking project. And you will never fucking _believe_ what she says to me."

"What's that," he asks. 

"She fucking says this _'Oh, I just decided to switch the project, we're doing one on the Great Depression now.'_ "

"No fucking way," he says. 

_Okay, maybe he is listening to me,_ he thinks, pulling off his pants. 

"Yeah," he says, walking back into the room, "so now not only do I feel like I didn't contribute, but now I know so much about the fucking Titanic. I mean, I don't know, I feel like I wouldn't have been mad if Karen had just fucking shot me an email before I did all the work. But she didn't, she just did it out of nowhere."

He walks in front of him and sits down on the couch and Noel's looking to him now, "yeah, she sounds like the worst."

"She is," he says scooting over and wrapping his arms around Noel's bicep, "I wish I were on any other team."

_At least I'm home and cuddled up next to Noel. He's comfortable._

"Well, the semester's almost over, you're almost done."

_Noel knows I'm almost done, I wont need to stay here once I get that other job. He'll want me to move out soon._

"Yeah," he says, "it'll be over and then I'll get my own apartment and I don't ever have to work on another team project again."

"You find a place already?"

He squeezes his bicep a little tighter before stopping and shaking his head, "no, not yet, but I will. I promise. I'll be out of your bed and closet soon. You'll go back to having the whole place to yourself again soon."

_He wants me gone already. I should already know that, I'm clingy with him. Too touchy._

"It'll be different," Noel says, "not having you around, eating my food and stealing my clothes."

_Your food tastes better than mine, and wearing them makes me feel closer to you._

"Your clothes look better on me anyway," he says, "but yeah. Soon you'll have all your food again, all your clothes back, a cleaner bathroom without all my stuff taking up that space. You'll be able to shower whenever you want. It'll be good. You'll like it."

_You'll like having me gone._

"With where I'm thinking about going," he continues, "I think the only downside is I wont see you as much as I do now."

_But maybe you're okay with that._

"Maybe we could meet once a week, maybe two," he asks, waiting for Noel to respond.

_That isn't enough for me but maybe it's enough for you._

"I'm fucking tired," Noel finally says, "I was sitting at a desk and staring at a computer screen all day. My eyes are killing me. I think I'm gonna lay down, order some food."

"I'll come with you," he says, "I need a nap after that class."

He lets go of his arm and they head to the bedroom. Cody gets in bed and Noel hands him his phone to order what he wants while he opens drawers. Cody chooses pizza and when he's done he gets curious and checks Noel's contacts. He scrolls through it only seeing a few names in it. He doesn't see Kristen's name and it makes him feel better but he does see a few with emojis and hearts next to them. He finds his name and it's plain. Just 'Cody Ko' nothing special about it. He closes out of everything and puts it on the nightstand before rolling over and hugging Noel, resting his head on his chest. His arms come around him and tries to forget about it. _Having emojis and stuff next to names is stupid anyway. I should feel good about it. Mine was the only name without them. Maybe that means something._

"What'd you order?"

"Your favorite," he says, "now close your eyes and sleep."

_That came out way harsher than I meant for it to._

He closes his eyes and Noel's hand rubs his back. _Fuck, that's nice._ He sighs, moving closer. He rubs his back, hands moving lower each time they go down. They stop on his hips and Cody's not closing his eyes anymore. _So that's why he's being more affectionate than usual._ The hands slide under his shirt, drawing circles on his sides just above the waistband. Maybe if he weren't in a not-so-great mood he'd like the attention. But they're in bed. They don't have sex in bed, they never have sex in bed. It was a rule Cody made when he broke his sleeping with Noel rule. _No sex in the bed._ Sex in bed changed things for Cody, it meant something to him even if it didn't mean anything to Noel.

His hands move lower, fingers tracing along the bottom of the underwear. _Am I really going to break this rule too? Am I really going to do this again for someone who doesn't love me?_

His fingers move across the fabric at the bottom and pull it to the side before wet fingers are teasing at his hole. Cody sighs and pulls back to look up at him, "thought you were tired."

"Not that tired," he smiles, leaning down to kiss his neck. 

_God I love it when he looks at me like that but I can't do this._

He takes Noel's hands off him and adjusts his underwear before turning away, "yeah, well, I am."

_Good job, you're not letting him use you again._

"What's wrong," he asks, "you never turn down sex."

_Is that why he lets me touch him? Because me being clingy is something he can tolerate as long as he can fuck me whenever he wants?_

"Yeah, well, I am today."

_God I'm so stupid._

"Okay, then we can just sleep."

He reaches out to hold onto him but he shifts away from him. _Noel doesn't hold onto me like that. I always make the first move and then he gives in. He never initiates cuddling. Is he trying to give me what I want so I'll sleep with him?_

He puts distance between them and he can hear Noel shifting on the other side of the mattress, "did you need help with your project? I can look up stuff about the Great Depression for you if you want."

_I'd love it if you did that for me but I can't let you win this._

"It's fine," he sighs, "I can do it."

"Other than that whole situation how was your day?"

_How was my day? He never asks me how my day was. Is he really trying to be what I want so I sleep with him?_

"Fine."

"Are you okay?"

_Do you even care?_

"I'm. Fine."

"Okay, so clearly you're not fine," he says, "what's wrong?"

_You! You're being nice to me. You're acting like my boyfriend and you never act like this._

"Nothing."

"Then why are you being like this?"

"I just don't wanna fuck you, okay," he says, it comes out without a second thought and it's loud and harsh and Cody wishes he'd just ignored him.

His eyes are watery and he feels like he's going to cry in front of him. Noel's moving closer to hold his face, "Cody."

And he hates hearing him say his name like that. He backs up, knowing if Noel touches him he's going to start sobbing and he doesn't want Noel to see him crying. 

"God can you just stop, just stop," he says pushing his hand away and standing up, "I just want you to stop fucking touching me."

_Oh my god I hate this. I don't like yelling at him but I can't stop._

"Okay," he sits up. His voice is calm, "okay, I'll stop."

_I'm an asshole. I'm yelling at him for being nice to me. I'm pushing him away when he's finally not acting cold. I'm so fucking stupid._

Noel stands up and grabs a pillow, "um, you can take the bed, I'll just go nap in the living room."

_I don't want you to leave._

He leaves the room and Cody lays in bed, holding a pillow to his chest and the tears finally fall. _I'm such a fucking crybaby. Why can't I just be fucking normal?_ He squeezes the soft mass and thinks about the bed he's laying on, _I should have just broke my rule. I wanted to break it._ He wipes his eyes and decides to take a shower. _Maybe a shower will make me feel better before I apologize to him._

He finally stops crying when he's halfway done with his shower, he scrubs his skin, cleaning himself up and he decides that he'll make it up to him. He gets out of the shower and pulls on a long sleeved shirt and heads over to the drawer on the side taking out a bottle of lube. He bends over the edge of the bed, using the nozzle to insert it inside himself. It's kind of cold inside him but it would get warmer eventually. When he thinks he's got enough he pulls his underwear up and leaves the room, toweling his hair. 

He leaves the room and tosses the towel in the laundry room before going over and sitting on the couch, "I can't sleep. Put something on."

Noel does as he asks without a word and soon Cody scoots over and puts his head on his shoulder, trying not to let the lube leak out just yet. Cody isn't paying much attention to the show, he's trying to figure out how to apologize to him. Maybe he should just get on him and do it while he rides him. Before he can say anything Noel's talking, "I'm sorry."

The words stay in the air and Cody doesn't know what to say to that. _He shouldn't be sorry, I should be sorry. I freaked out and he was just trying to be nice to me._

"I shouldn't have tried anything with you. You were clearly not interested and I should have just rolled over and went to sleep. I wont try anything with you again, okay?"

He doesn't say anything to that, he just thinks. _No, I want you to try things with me again. Don't stop touching me altogether._

His voice drops to a whisper, "I promise."

And then it's silent again. _Think of something. He's apologizing and it's not his fault. You freaked out on him and he's saying sorry to you. Make it up to him. Give him what he wants._

And he's moving, crawling into his lap and straddling him like he does when he can tell Noel's bored with what they're watching. He holds his cheeks and leans in, kissing him slow. He kisses him back and it's nice but he's refusing to touch him. Cody takes his hands and puts them on his hips. The kiss is deeper than the others they've shared in the past, but it's good. Passionate. Slow. His hips move into his and Noel's hands go up the back of his shirt, feeling the skin underneath and holding onto him. 

_Please keep touching me like that._

He tilts his head and gives Noel's lips room to roam. He kisses down his jaw to his neck and his hands slide down Noel's face to his shirt. He's rubbing his chest through it before pulling back and kissing him again. His mouth works with his and he moves Noel's hands lower to his ass before holding onto his shoulders. Noel squeezes him through the fabric and Cody's heart is racing. He pulls back, adjusting his legs to get the underwear off. They're tossed to the floor when they're off and he goes back to kissing Noel. The fingers find his hole, teasing it with the lube already leaking. _That's how you want me, isn't it? Go ahead. I wont stop you this time._

He's tugging at Noel's sweatpants and the man takes the hint, pulling them down and scooping up some of the lube dripping down his thigh up with his hand. Cody doesn't want to wait though and in seconds he's lowering himself on it. Noel's mouth falls open and Cody sighs, watching him look like he's ready to fuck him hard. He moves to his neck. He's not gentle this time, he sucks on different spots, leaving marks. He didn't usually do this, Noel usually took the lead but he's feeling more in charge right now. Noel tilts his neck, letting Cody reach more places. His hips are moving slow at first but once he builds up Noel's moaning, "Cody."

"Don't talk," he whispers. 

_Don't worry about saying something to make me happy. This is for you. This is all for you. I just want to make you happy._

It's quiet except for their breathing and Cody's kissing under his ear, changing how his hips move and when it feels good for him Cody can't help it, "fuck!"

Noel stops him and lays him back against the couch, sitting up on his knees. Cody's moaning, spreading his legs further while Noel's putting one over his shoulder. He moans when he thrusts and motions for him to come closer. When he leans down he's pulling him into a kiss. _Fuck, this is so good. I bet it'd be even better if we were in his bed._

A knock on the door interrupts them and Noel shakes his head, "shit."

"Ignore it," he says pulling him back down for another kiss.

Noel kisses him back, letting himself be dragged back down. He's thrusting inside Cody a few more times before the knock comes again. Noel pulls out and pulls up his pants and underwear. Cody sits up on the couch, pulling his shirt down over his dick. When the door opens a delivery guy is standing there with a bag over his shoulder, "you, uh, Mr. Miller?"

"Yeah," he nods, "yeah, that's me."

_Getting cock blocked by food has got to be a new one for me. I guess I can't really complain if it's pizza though._

He takes the box, setting it by the door before leaving to their room to get his wallet. The delivery guy looks to him and he feels embarrassed, especially when he notices the underwear in the floor. _Oh my god this isn't happening._ Noel comes back looking as if he's going to explain but the guy gives a smile and a wave to Cody and he's confused, _dude, clearly I'm interested in someone else._

Noel pushes the money against his chest and closes the door in his face. He turns back to Cody, rolling his eyes, "fucking horndogs, this is why I don't order with them often, the delivery guys are fuckin' weird."

And he can't help but laugh

"And they're always guys too andyou're laughing, why are you laughing?"

_Because you almost seemed a little jealous my attention wasn't on you for once._

"Just funny seeing you close the door on someone like that."

"He was checking you out," he says, "who does that? You could be my husband or boyfriend or whatever, he doesn't know us."

_He said husband first._

"Careful," he tries not to smile at the thought, "you're sounding a little possessive of me."

He heads back over to him, kissing him, "I'm not possessive."

"I know" he says, "you just sounded like it for a minute."

He stands and head over picking up the black underwear and pulling it up his legs. _Guess I'll jack off later._ He grabs the pizza and sets it on the coffee table. He opens the box and Noel picks up a slice, eating it quickly when he realizes how hot it is. Cody thinks if they're not having sex he needs a proper apology, "um, I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier. I wasn't even really mad you were trying to touch me, I don't know why I yelled at you like that. I didn't mean it."

"Why did you snap like that? Was it something I did? Something I said?"

_It was me._

He shakes his head, "it doesn't matter. What matter is I'm sorry. I wont snap at you like that."

"It was my fault," Noel says, "I know you've got this sort of thing about it anyway."

_He knows about my rule?_

"Thing?"

"Well, I mean, we have sex a lot. But we never have sex in our bedroom. We have sex in the bathroom," Noel continues, "the couch, the hall, the kitchen, hell, we fucked on the balcony during the day! But we never have sex in our bed."

_I like it when you call it our bed._

"I mean, yeah," he says finishing up another slice, "we can't have sex in it."

Noel cocks his head, "why not? You don't like it? It's a posturepedic."

He shakes his head and bites into another slice as Noel does, "it's not that. I don't care about fucking on a weird old person mattress."

"I have bad joints!"

"Fucking on a mattress means something to me!"

"What," he asks.

"You and me, we have sex everywhere but friends can do that. Friends can have sex as long as it's not in a bed. Sex in a car or shower doesn't have to mean anything. But in a bed it feels different, like it's special and everything. If we do it on a mattress it'll feel like we can't go back to being friends. We're either more than friends or we can never go back to being 'just friends.' Do you know what I mean?"

"So if we fuck in our bed that makes things different for you?"

He nods, "it makes things really different for me."

"So we'd have to be something more or nothing at all?"

"Yeah."

"Well," he says, "you know how I feel about being something more."

"Yeah," Cody finally says, "I know. Which is why we can't do it in a bed." 

_Because I'm selfish and I want more and I know you don't want that with me._

Noel puts the half slice in the box closing it before speaking, "have you ever been in love with someone?"

And Cody suddenly loses his appetite and puts his pizza down. _He already knows the answer to that, why's he even asking?_ He bites anyway, "yeah. Have you?"

"You already know the answer to that," he laughs.

And Cody's chest aches when he pulls his knees in close and wraps his arms around them. Noel looks to the floor, "Cody?"

"Yeah," he asks, trying not to show how weak his voice had gotten.

And Noel sounds different, "do you think you could ever love me?"

_Fuck. You._

He scoffs, "shut up."

 _He fucking knows,_ he thinks holding himself tighter when his heart speeds up out of nervousness, _does he really hate me this much?_

Noel's quiet for a second before speaking, "I know I'm not taller than you. I know I'm not muscly, and I know I'm not what you're looking for but I can do a shitload of other things."

And that gets his attention. He turns to him and Noel's got tears in his eyes. And Cody knows now that this isn't a joke. Noel doesn't cry in front of him, he doesn't cry in front of anyone and if this is a bit Noel's pulling he'd have to say it now or else this is just cruel.

"I can cook, I can do dishes, I can take care of you, I can work hard to give you whatever you want, whatever you need. I would beat the shit out of anyone who trashed talked you in front of me and if I couldn't I would still take a beating defending you. I would do anything for you because I'm in love with you. I've always been in love with you and I'll always be in love with you and if you give me a chance I swear I'll do anything to make you happy."

_Holy shit. He means it. He means all of this._

Cody's mouth is open and Noel's wiping his face before rubbing his palms against his knees. _He's sweating. He means this, this is real._ He doesn't know what to say, he never expected to hear any of that. His heart is racing and soon Noel's getting off the couch and kneeling in front of him, "please just give me a chance."

_He's being serious._

He takes Noel's hand, "you are my best friend and you're kind and smart and loyal and you have been with me through everything..."

"But," Noel says, shoulders falling. 

"But I've been in love with you for years," he says. 

And Noel's face goes blank, "what?"

"You must've known that," he tells him, "everyone teased me for it, it's why Bethany didn't like me, it's why I didn't date anybody."

"So, you've been in love with me for years?"

"Yeah."

And realization hits him, "that time you said _'I love you'_ in the car when we..."

He trails off and closes his eyes before shaking his head, "you meant it. I'd always been in love with you but I just thought you were too good for me."

"I always thought I wasn't good enough," he admits, "you're good looking, like, _really_ good looking. You could have had anyone in our grade. You probably still can."

"I only wanted you. No one else made me feel like this."

"It's weird looking at all the times between then and now and realizing all those things you did. The time in the bathroom you mean it when you told me you loved me. all those times you gave me those suckers. You remembered it was my favorite and you carried them around with you for years."

He nods, "I've always been in love with you, I just thought you kept me around because you knew-"

"And you thought I was taking advantage of your love for me?"

"Yeah." 

"I thought the same," he says, "but I couldn't get over you. Even though all I thought you wanted from me was sex I still wanted to be closer, I even moved in with you."

"I'm really glad you did. I like having you here," he smiles, "so much so that I don't want you to go."

Cody takes his hands smiling down at him, "I'll stay if you want me to. Just tell me what you want."

He lets go of his hands and lays his head on Cody's legs wrapping his arms around them, "I want you to stay. I don't want you to go."

His hand makes his way in Noel's hair and he smiles when it makes him closes his eyes and hold on tighter. His fingers through the dark locks and he speaks softer, "then I wont go. I'll stay right here."

He turns his head, kissing Cody's thigh before looking up at him. He wipes the tears off Noel's face that hadn't quite dried and he lets go of his legs and touches Cody's face. He pats the top of Noel's hands, "finish your pizza."

And he does as he asks, taking it from the box and holding it out for Cody to eat more. When he gets back on the couch he's sitting close enough that his thighs are touching his. Noel's got a mouthful of pizza when he gives him a look for staring, "what?"

"You know, we have a whole couch. Are you going to be a clingy boyfriend?"

"Says the person who practically lives in my lap and tries to cuddle me whenever they get the chance."

He smiles, "I know _I'm_ clingy, I just didn't know you would be too."

"I'm not _clingy._ Maybe a little clingy but not like on you at all times, you know. I know I don't _need_ to be touching you at all times," he says, "but I want to."

"So sweet," he says, finishing up his pizza, "speaking of sweet, you know what I could go for right now?"

"I've got a pretty good idea."

"Will you get one for me?"

Noel pops the last bite of pizza in his mouth and stands, heading over to the jar and pulling out a red and blue sucker before going back to him. He unwraps the red and shoves it into his mouth while Cody's undoing his and putting it in his cheek.

"You look like a chipmunk," he says, "it's cute. You're cute."

"Put our show back on," he tells him as he crawls into his lap, "and put your arms around me."

"So bossy," he says, pulling the candy from his mouth and kissing his cheek, "but okay."

The show is back on and his arms come around his waist. They watch a little bit, Cody feeling comfortable in Noel's arms and when he least expects it he hears him whisper in his ear, "I love you."

Cody smiles big and turns to him, pulling the sucker from his mouth, "I love you too."

He pushes his lips together and when Noel kisses them he leans back against him rubbing the arms around him. They only watch the show a little longer until Cody's moving the lollipop to the other cheek, "and _now_ I'm tired."

He chuckles, "you want me to carry you, don't you?"

"Please," he asks, giving him puppy eyes and hoping it works.

Noel turns the show off and sets him to the side. He frowns and when Noel stands with his arms out Cody's wrapping himself around him making Noel smile. He hides his face in his neck, breathing him in before Noel's laughing again, "so fucking spoiled."

He smiles, holding on tighter to Noel. _Maybe. Just a little spoiled._

\---

"I want the red one this time," he tells him.

"You want the red one," he asks, "you have a fever? You sick?"

"Just give it here."

He hands the red sucker to him and takes the blue one for himself. Cody's quick to unwrap it and pop it into his mouth while Noel leans back against the pillows. He lays on his stomach, scrolling through twitter while he listens to Noel twirling his unwrapped candy. He pushes the sucker in and out of his mouth and he can't help it, it feels good to have something in his mouth. Maybe it's the way it makes his lips look like they have lipstick on maybe it's oral fixation, who knows? He just knows he likes having it there. The candy gives his mouth something to do other than talk and the stick gives his fingers something to play with. He pulls it from his mouth and feels his lips go back around it.

 _I kind of wish this was Noel right now,_ he thinks, rolling his tongue over it. 

He thinks about the faces Noel makes when he's on his knees for him and can't help but laugh softly to himself, _some of them are kind of weird, but some of them are really hot._

Hands grab him by his hips and drag him back closer to Noel. He pulls the candy out of his mouth with a satisfying pop and turns back to look at him, "what is it?"

"Nothing," he says pulling the underwear off him slow, "just wanna look at you."

He moves his legs for him and lets them get taken off all the way. He watches him shove a pillow under his body before pulling his hips off the mattress. Cody pops the sucker back into his mouth and scrolls his phone while Noel's putting each of his thighs over his shoulder and spreading his cheeks apart. His tongue soon laves over his hole and Cody moans around the lollipop. He turns around and Noel gives him a wink before pushing his tongue inside him. He puts his phone down and pulls the sucker from his mouth. Noel pulls his hand back and brings it down against his ass making him jump. He moves his hips from side to side a little, hoping for him to move his tongue in deeper.

"You like that?"

He nods and Noel teases circles around the hole making him squirm, "Noel!"

He spanks him again before sticking his tongue back in and reaching for his dick. He uses the pre-cum leaking to thumb over the tip and Cody's never moved his hand so fast in his life. He grips his wrist tight letting out a breath. Noel speaks with a smile, "your face is almost as red as that sucker."

He thumbs over the head again and he's letting out a shaky breath, "ah!"

He tongues over his hole and he's practically whimpering while he he's squeezing Noel's wrist so tight he thinks he might break it. 

"You like it when I do that?"

"Noel," he says, but he feels like he's about to start begging.

"If this is all you need to cum then I don't think this'll take very long," he tells him, tonguing him open while he whines each time his thumb moves over his slit.

"Stop," he tells him, pulling his hand off him.

Noel does as he says and stops everything he's doing. His fingers move so he's holding his hand while he pants, "just give me a second."

"That too much for you, baby?"

He nods, "way too much."

"I wont do that then. I'll go slower, want me to eat your ass slower? You can ride my face if you want to, play on your phone while you ride my tongue."

He nods and hands him his phone to put on the night stand, "just do it until you can't wait any longer and you feel like you need to be inside me."

And he gives him a smile, "I can do that."

He lays back, patting one of his thighs to get his attention, "come here."

He backs up and lets Noel position him until he's facing away from him. Once he sits down Noel's tongue goes back to work. He hums around his lollipop, sucking on it while Noel takes his time licking him open. He pictures the candy in his hand as Noel's dick before looking down at his underwear, _maybe I should blow him while he's doing this._

He moves back and forth on his face before reaching down and putting his hand on Noel's underwear. He rubs him through the fabric with one hand while he uses the other to push the sucker in and out of his mouth. Noel pulls back his hand, spanking him and Cody finds himself moaning as the tongue inside him goes deeper. He leans down, pulling the candy from his mouth while he traces the outline of his cock with his lips. He stops and puts the candy back in his mouth, slowly palming him while Noel's tongue stops. He pulls it from his mouth, frowning, "why'd you stop?"

He soon goes back to doing what he was doing, hands going under his legs to hold onto the tops of his thighs. He sits back up and slowly moves his hips up and down, humming slightly before moaning, "you're so good at that."

And it makes Noel keep doing it the way he likes. He leans back down, pushing the underwear down until Noel's cock is out. He wraps his hand around it, thumbing over the top. Noel moans under him and Cody does too, smiling at the feeling. _That felt good._ He does it again and Cody bites his lip with Noel moans, trying not to make too much noise. Noel's hands go up his hips and waist, feeling him until his fingers find his nipples. He gives them both a light pinch ad his body jumps, "Noel!"

And he can feel the man under him smiling and he can't help but smile too. He licks over his lollipop and slides his thumb over the tip a few times and Noel groans before shoving his tongue inside him as far as he can. 

"Ah!"

And Cody smiles, leaning down and rolling his tongue over the head of his cock and the sound Noel makes under him makes him want to keep going. He takes the tip in his mouth, humming around it before using his tongue to slide over the tip back and forth. He pulls off with a small pop and kisses his hip. Noel jerks under him and Cody moves his lips back to his dick, kissing up his shaft. And just when Noel's comfortably licking him he opens his mouth taking him as deep as he can. He's humming around him, bobbing his head while his hand is jerking him off. Noel's tongue stop and he hears him let out a breath, "fuck."

He pulls off with another pop before using his hand to jerk him off. He turns back to look at him playing innocent, "too much? Want me to suck it slower?"

"Cody," he says with a hint of warning.

He gets off him and turns towards him, "I'll even sit like this so you can watch."

He holds it back up and Noel's sitting up on his elbows watching him kiss the tip before sinking his mouth down to the base. He slides it down his throat, trying not to gag and Noel's fists clench, "fuck."

He pulls off, the spit sliding down as he uses it to jerk him off. He puts the sucker back in his mouth smiling while he thumbs over the head again. Noel closes his eyes groaning before looking to Cody, "get on your back."

And Cody's throbbing when he hears that command. He lays back, shirt riding up and exposing part of his stomach. He watches him grab lube and a pillow. He quickly folds the pillow putting it under his hips. When Noel's attention is on him he looks up at him, sucking on his lollipop and waiting for him to do something. Noel pours lube onto his hand, rubbing over his cock before using his fingers to tease his hole open. He hums and pulls his sucker from his mouth, "can I still eat this while we have sex?

Noel's cock pushes inside him and he takes the candy from his hand. He pouts and Noel puts it to his lips, "yeah, but I get to hold it."

He smiles and Noel's tapping his lips, "open."

He opens his mouth and when he sets it on his tongue he closes his mouth and Noel pulls it out slow. He pushes it in and out of his lips and Cody closes his eyes when his hips move with the same speed inside him, "you keep sucking on that and I'll fuck you real slow."

_Holy shit I like when he says it in that voice._

A hand slides up his thigh and reaches for his cock. Within a second Cody's opening his eyes and holding onto his wrist with a moan. Noel lets go and Cody's grip on him loosens completely. He lets go of the stick an Cody's pushing the sucker to his cheek while Noel takes his hands. When he puts Cody's wrists beside his head he lets go. His fingertips tap the center of his palms and Cody moves the candy to the middle of his mouth to rest on his tongue. Noel's hips move faster and soon he's taking the candy from him, pulling it from his mouth and pushing it back in. He matches the thrusts with the candy and Cody finds himself moaning. Soon Noel's speaking up, "can I take a picture of you like this? So I have something to look at when you have to be somewhere else? Something just for me?"

_A picture? That's kind of hot to think about, Noel touching himself to me._

"Okay," he nods. 

Noel takes his phone off the nightstand with a certain eagerness in his eyes. He holds out the sucker for him and Cody closes his eyes and tilts his head back and forth to suck on it slow. After a minute he speaks again, "can I take a video?"

_He wants to film me? To watch it later? Shit, that's hot too._

"Are you going to post it anywhere?"

_Fuck, why do I kind of want him to?_

"No, just something for me to watch when you're gone off somewhere."

_Hell yes._

"Okay."

He hears the record button and soon he thrusts a little faster in him. He watches the lens and moans, letting Noel watch him through the screen. He keeps his body positioned the way Noel has him while the hips press against his with every thrusts. He moves a little harder and Cody's moaning around the candy and soon it's pulled from is mouth letting his moans sound louder. He pants and sticks his tongue out waiting for his candy. Noel touches it to his tongue and soon he closes his eyes again, sucking on it. 

"Is it good, pretty boy?"

_I love it when he calls me that._

He nods and licks at his slow until his mouth closes around it. He reaches for Cody's cheek and soon Cody raises one hand to hold onto it. He smiles at the camera looking at him while Noel speaks, "I love you, baby."

He takes the sucker from his mouth with another soft pop, "I love you too." 

He stops recording and drops his phone, taking the candy from him and leaning down to kiss him. His hips slow down and Cody kisses back, arms wrapping around his neck, "remember, that's for your eyes only."

He smiles and moves to his neck, kissing gently as he chuckles, "you know I don't like sharing you with other guys."

_He's kind of hot when he's jealous._

"You don't ever have to, I don't want anyone else," he says, "I only want you."

"I should have had you say that on camera. I like hearing that," he says looking over him with a smile on his face.

"I'm only yours," he says when he feels Noel's hand go through his hair, "always yours."

He kisses him again before putting the lollipop back at his lips. He opens his mouth and Noel makes sure to push the sucker in his mouth with every thrust, "I'm glad you said that because you're the only person in the world I'll ever want to be mine."

Noel leans in closer to him, watching his lips take the sucker in an out of them. He takes it out and Cody speaks, no longer playing innocent for him, "faster."

"Look at you being bossy," he says, "thought you liked it slow, thought that was what you wanted."

He's kissing under his ear and Cody can't take this gentle shit anymore, "want it harder."

"Harder too, it's our first time in this bed," he informs him, "don't you want me to take my time?"

"Noel," he warns.

And he's chuckling and nodding, "alright, alright, here."

He steals the sucker from him and shoves it back in his mouth when Noel pulls back. He sits up on his elbows watching Noel pick up each of his thighs. He holds them up with his elbows before he moves his hips faster. When he hits the right spot he lays back and lets Noel move rougher while he pulls the sucker from his mouth to moan without being muffled. Noel watches him, "fuck, you take it so good."

"Flip me over," he says, "wanna be on my stomach."

"I don't know," he says, "you look pretty cute like this."

"Now," he growls out.

And Noel pulls out of him and flips him onto his stomach the second he says it like that. He pushes back inside him and Cody sits up on his elbows, sucking on his candy while Noel's thrusting hard and fast inside him. He leans in to whisper in his ear, "you know you're real bossy when you don't get your way."

"Can you pull my hair," he asks, tonguing the candy from side to side in his mouth, "please?"

"Oh now you act sweet?"

And Noel's weak for it, Cody knows he's weak for it. He turns to look at him, pulling the sucker out, "please, Noel?"

He gives him a pout and moans when his dick runs over just the right place. And when Noel does it again he moans, he's so close to begging at this point. He needs to feel his hair being pulled, he needs Noel's fingers to touch him again. 

"Yeah, baby," he nods, "whatever you want."

Cody licks the lollipop before turning back around with a smile. _Puppy eyes still never fail with him._ The fingers tangle in his hair, pulling it when he shoves the lollipop back in his mouth. He hums around it and Noel's back at his ear, "spoiled rotten aren't you?"

He nods, taking the sucker out of his mouth and holding it close enough that each thrust makes his mouth slide over it. He pulls his hair harder and makes him moan around it, "always gotta have something inside you at all times. Either in your ass or your mouth, so needy."

"You could always deny me," he says, turning to look at him, "but you know you like it just as much as I do."

"Do I," he asks, pulling it harder this time. 

He moans and bites back a smiles, "yeah, you love it. You love being inside me, especially my mouth. I can tell you like me blowing you a lot because even when I'm not you love watching me eat suckers."

And he moves harder at that. Cody shoves the candy back in his mouth and holds onto the blanket tighter.

"No I don't."

He nods, "yeah you do."

He raises his hips and takes Noel's hand moving it under him so he'll jerk him off. He does what he wants, jerking him off and pulling his hair while Cody holds himself up. Their bodies are closer now and Cody's smiling and pulling the candy from his mouth with a dramatic pop just for him, "you love it, you like watching me suck on them, especially the red one because you think I look cute when my lips are red."

Noel's looking right at his mouth and watching him purse his lips and make a kissy face at him, and when he looks to his eyes Cody's got a smirk on his face whispering, "very cherry."

And Noel cums right then, quickly jerking Cody off faster when he realizes how fast it'd happened. Cody's soon cumming over his knuckles letting out a long moan before he's resting his head against the mattress. He pulls out of him and wipes his hand off with a sock he finds. Cody watches him pull up his underwear and move to the edge of the bed sitting in the floor in front of him. Cody's smiling up at him, "well, now I know what to say to get you in the mood."

"That was fucking great," he tells him. 

Cody picks up his hand and moves it to Noel's hair, running through it before smiling, "yeah?"

"We should definitely fuck more when you're eating those."

"Maybe," he says, "maybe we can."

"And we should definitely film it more often."

"Yeah," he asks, popping the candy into his mouth and getting up to head to the bathroom, "would I be the lonely teacher who gets fucked by their fuckboy student? Or are you gonna play the strict professor while I play the student desperate to get a better grade on their test? That'd be kinda hot. Would I call you Mr. Miller?"

"I don't know," he says, "try it out for me real quick." 

"Please, Mr. Miller, I'll do anything for a better grade."

"Yeah," he nods, "I think I like that. But I just meant film when we have sex I think I have that kink. Where I like watching our sex on camera."

"I think I like you shoving things in my mouth while we fuck. Next time put your fingers in my mouth to keep me quiet."

Cody moves in front of the mirror and Noel comes up behind him wrapping his arms around his waist and kissing his neck, "why would I ever want to keep _you_ quiet?"

"In case we're in public."

"Public? You into stuff like that?"

"Maybe," he shrugs, "guess we'll have to see."

Noel grabs a wash cloth, wetting it and cleaning between his thighs gently. Cody adjusts his legs for him and once Noel's done he tosses it in the laundry basket, "I'll be back with some underwear."

Cody wait patiently on the sink for him to get back, debating whether he would give him what's in his wallet today or not. It was the first time they'd had sex in a bed, it seemed like a good time. Maybe he would. When Noel comes back he's sliding the red underwear up his legs. He gets down adjusting them before sitting back on the counter top.

"What to you want to eat," Noel asks, "cause I don't know about you but after that I'm starving."

"Hmm, maybe tacos. Or something with chicken."

"I'll order chicken and tacos," he says, taking the sucker out of Cody's mouth before kissing him.

Noel puts the candy past his own lips and Cody grabs him by his hips, pulling him closer between his legs so they're touching, "can I give you something?"

"If it's a blowjob my dick is way too tired."

"It's not a blowjob."

"Okay, what is it?"

"Go get my wallet."

He leaves the room and Cody's heart is beginning to beat fast, _I can't believe I'm really going to do this._ When he comes back he's holding it up and Cody takes it from him smiling, "do you remember when we were kids and they were doing the candygrams?"

"How could I forget," he asks, "that's when a chunk of my paycheck started going into getting a lot of those blue ones for you over the years."

He smiles and takes out a piece of paper, "um, this is the one I bought for you but I was too scared to give to you."

He looks at the paper seeing the words Cody had written.

**'I love you' -From Cody**

He smiles and taps it with his finger, "you wanna know something funny?"

"What," he asks. 

"I sent you one," he nods, "with the exact same words but I was too scared to sign my name."

And that makes him feel warm, _he still feels this way after all these years? Now I definitely have to do this._ He pulls out another piece of the same kind of paper and shows it to him, "this one?"

He smiles even bigger at him, "you kept it?"

"Of course I kept it. It was the only candygram I kept out of the ones I got."

"You know, when I sent this I was scared shitless. I was terrified that you would recognize my handwriting and that you knew and you just didn't say anything because you didn't want me like that."

"I was going to give mine to you personally," he admits, "but then I saw you throw out all the candygrams you'd gotten and I didn't want to give it to you because I would have been devastated if you'd done that to mine."

"I wouldn't have done that to you."

"I know," he smiles, "you're too nice to do something like that."

"We should frame these," he says, and it makes Cody's heart swell as he beams at him, "you want to?"

Noel nods, "yeah, we'll frame them and find a good spot for them."

"Maybe we could frame them with something else important," he says. 

"Yeah, like what," he asks, looking to Cody's message for him and tracing over his name with his finger. He pulls the golden circle from his wallet and holds it up

"Like a marriage certificate..."

And now he's got Noel's attention. His face is heating up as he holds it out for him. A smile plays at the corner of Noel's mouth and Cody's trying not to seem so nervous. Noel pulls the sucker from his mouth, "what's this?"

"Well," he starts, "I know we haven't been together for a long time but I can't picture being with anyone but you. So I was wondering..."

And Noel gives him a quick raise of his eyebrows before smiling, "yeah, what were you wondering?" 

He looks away for a moment, _don't stutter. Do not stutter, you practiced this so many times in the mirror. You can do this._

"I wanted to ask you," he says finally looking up at him.

"Yes?"

"Noel Miller."

"Cody Kolodziejzyk."

"Will you marry me?"

"Of course I will," he says leaning in and kissing him. 

He holds out his hand to him and Cody slides it on his finger. Noel inspects it for a minute and Cody's mind starts to panic, _did I get the wrong size? Does he not like it?_

"What," he asks, "do you not like gold? You more of a silver kind of guy? Is something wrong with it?"

"No, it's perfect, just there's something about it," he says. 

Cody can feel himself starting to fidget, worrying about it, "what? What is it?"

He smiles, "I think it's prettier than the one I got for you."

And that makes his heart skip a beat. He can feel the heat creep up in his cheeks when he smiles, "oh?"

"Yeah," he says pulling out the small box from behind him.

_He was going to propose to me too? Wait, where was that this whole time?_

"Did you put that in the back of your underwear?"

He nods, holding it out for him. He takes it and opens it up seeing an identical gold band inside. And he can't help but smile, Noel resting his forehead against his, "do you like it? You more of a silver kind of guy? Did you want a giant rock? We can take them back, get matching diamonds. Then again, the diamond business is extremely unethical. I watched a whole documentary on it. I don't know, maybe we'll get the synthetic ones they grow in a lab or something. Unless you want a different color instead, maybe like green or blue or-"

He shuts him up with a kiss before smiling, "it's perfect."

"Good," he says watching him slip it on his finger and begin playing with it, "only the best for you."

Noel pops the sucker back into his mouth before his arms are coming around his waist and hugging him close. It was a little rare for Noel to initiate hugs but when he did they were always better than normal. He's soon putting his arms around him and resting his head on his shoulder, "can we watch something in the living room while we wait on the food to get here?"

"Sure, baby, whatever you want."

_Why do I like hearing him call me baby like that?_

"Can you carry me in there?"

"You asked me to marry you," he points out as he lifts him, "shouldn't you be carrying me?"

"I'm tired," he says. 

"You're always tired," he says carrying him into the living room, "you know I can't carry you forever, what's gonna happen when we get old?"

"You'll still be able to push me in my wheelchair," he points out. 

"I spoil you too much."

"I know," he smiles, "I kind of love it."

He sets him on the couch and sits beside him, raising his arms so he can crawl in his lap like he normally does. He sits sideways so he can rest his head against his neck. He's pulling a blanket around them and Cody picks up Noel's arms and puts them around his waist, kissing his collarbone, "I'll make sure to spoil you too. Plenty of hugs and kisses."

He sucks a hickey onto his skin and continues, "and the best sloppy toppy you have ever had-"

Noel cuts him off with a laugh and he chuckles, kissing up his neck, "in your entire life."

Noel moves Cody's head and lightly kisses under his ear and it makes him giggle and move in his spot when he speaks, "and I'll make sure to blow your back out every night."

He shakes his head before moving away from his lips, "that tickles."

"Keep wiggling around like that and I'll blow it out right here on this couch."

He laughs, "you wish you could go for another that fast."

He moves around to face him and touches his nose to his, "you always wanna fuck me."

Noel raises his brows at him, "hold up, are you trying to tell me you don't think I could fuck you twice in a day?"

"Not that fast after we just had sex."

"Is that a challenge?"

"You don't have the stamina for something like that. You can go one time but then you'll need like a full eight or nine hours to recharge."

"One day I'll fuck you twice in a day, hell, I'll fuck you three times."

His eyes go wide, amused by him, "is that a promise?"

"Yeah," he says, "how's that sound? Three times in a day?"

"Sounds like I'll be sore," he says, "but I'm kind of okay with it."

Noel leans in, pressing his lips to his for a few seconds before pulling from him. Cody grins, looking over him and gently tapping his fingertips to the light freckling on his face, "I love you."

"I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> I might write more sad Cody fics in the future. I've got an idea for one.


End file.
